1
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:06,860
<i>?? help, now it's Christmas!??</i>

2
00:00:07,039 --> 00:00:09,660
If there was anything I would
like to cancel, it was Christmas.

3
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:10,990
- No driving it up there.
- No, no, no.

4
00:00:11,140 --> 00:00:13,280
- Christmas is irrational.
- Wow.

5
00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:15,480
<i>?? help, now it's Christmas! ??</i>

6
00:00:15,740 --> 00:00:17,940
We're the one who doesn't really dance right.

7
00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:20,020
Then you become unfriends, then
you drink a little too much,

8
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:20,960
and then it all goes to hell.

9
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,560
I thought you used
Grandma's recipe?

10
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:23,940
<i>?? help, now it's Christmas!??<i>

11
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,980
Every deviation is the same as death.

12
00:00:28,340 --> 00:00:29,320
Have I gone insane?

13
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,460
I've gone fucking insane, Helle.

14
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,460
"HELP... IT <i>IS</i> CHRISTMAS."

15
00:00:34,970 --> 00:00:37,790
I always celebrate, that... what's it called?

16
00:00:40,730 --> 00:00:41,250
That there.

17
00:00:41,770 --> 00:00:44,390
Advent is a good example
of Christmas being irrational.

18
00:00:44,590 --> 00:00:47,030
I'm completely blank now.
I have become immune to my own thoughts.

19
00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:51,510
Anyone who deviates from a ritual
is not part of the human community.

20
00:00:51,590 --> 00:00:54,530
If you want to stick to that idea, then you
can say, what are our Christmas decorations?

21
00:00:54,650 --> 00:00:56,070
This is an example of how irrational it is.

22
00:00:56,450 --> 00:00:58,350
We combine dry greens and living fire.

23
00:00:58,630 --> 00:00:59,730
Advent, there it was.

24
00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:01,790
It's psychotic.

25
00:01:01,890 --> 00:01:07,670
It is a reality-denying repetition
of the trot from Christmas past.

26
00:01:07,810 --> 00:01:10,950
And then you have the Advent wreath, which is the best example, because there you have

27
00:01:10,950 --> 00:01:14,650
weighted the dry branch around straw, and then you have hung it under the ceiling,

28
00:01:14,690 --> 00:01:16,790
so you are absolutely sure that if something happens,
the fire will catch on in a flash,

29
00:01:16,950 --> 00:01:20,670
we're the ones who doesn't dance properly in the tribal dance,

30
00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:22,530
the whole house is engulfed in flames in a few seconds.

31
00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:27,250
- we're the one who does not do
the identical repetition of the ritual.

32
00:01:27,250 --> 00:01:30,130
You might as well just say that Jesus says
that there must be petrol right below.

33
00:01:30,410 --> 00:01:32,890
It's so stupid in every way.

34
00:01:33,130 --> 00:01:36,810
Every deviation is the same as death.

35
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:39,810
4th- ADVENTS ANXIETY.

36
00:01:44,810 --> 00:01:48,170
Halle has promised Niels that she will cut back
completely on the Christmas rush this year.

37
00:01:48,370 --> 00:01:49,570
Nothing with driving up there, right?

38
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,730
But it doesn't quite go as planned.

39
00:01:52,290 --> 00:01:54,630
You have no intention of throwing
out my motorcycle suit, do you?

40
00:01:55,290 --> 00:01:56,950
God.
Hello? Hey!

41
00:01:57,470 --> 00:02:00,150
The day before yesterday, she had to break
into the neighbour's house.

42
00:02:00,150 --> 00:02:03,330
It is my box that your
children accidentally took.

43
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:06,030
Those pinecone pixies, that is
the essence of our Christmas.

44
00:02:06,110 --> 00:02:07,990
She has stolen our Christmas right now.

45
00:02:08,289 --> 00:02:10,350
And yesterday she
managed to destroy the gift,

46
00:02:10,550 --> 00:02:11,230
Helle, stop it!

47
00:02:11,690 --> 00:02:12,750
- which Niels had bought for her.

48
00:02:12,790 --> 00:02:14,490
What are you doing?

49
00:02:15,090 --> 00:02:17,450
God!
No, it's such a figure.

50
00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:21,090
In return, she was very nice
to help him find another one.

51
00:02:21,530 --> 00:02:22,250
... And better.

52
00:02:22,330 --> 00:02:23,970
I can't stand it anymore.
Get it?

53
00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:26,650
- Are you crying?
- Yes, I can't take it anymore.

54
00:02:29,090 --> 00:02:31,450
<i>?? sometimes I feel like I've got to ??<i>

55
00:02:32,890 --> 00:02:34,450
<i>?? run away, I've got to ??<i>

56
00:02:35,890 --> 00:02:37,450
<i>?? get away from the place<i>??

57
00:02:48,980 --> 00:02:50,300
Yes...

58
00:02:55,700 --> 00:02:58,280
Yes, now you have to make
sure you don't overexert yourself, darling.

59
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:03,040
I just want to tell you that my parents
are coming in less than four hours.

60
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:05,740
It's funny.

61
00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:08,900
I sit and think about your mother, and then
there is an article here that says...

62
00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:12,740
- stress-related hair loss.
Why do you do that?

63
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,820
Because exactly
something like that,

64
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,140
doesn't need to lay here
when my mom comes.

65
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,720
She has a very problematic relationship
with her own hair up here at Christmas.

66
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:19,800
She has an insane
amount of hair-loss.

67
00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:22,800
And you can't stay sitting here, honey,
because I'm going to start baking.

68
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:25,120
No, listen, honey.
Why should you bake?

69
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,680
It's much easier if you go
out and buy some cakes, right?

70
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,320
Shut up, you're starting to grow a moon, honey.

71
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,660
Such nonsense, stop
saying things like that.

72
00:03:33,140 --> 00:03:34,300
That's what I'm saying,
let's buy some cookies,

73
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:36,780
then you
will be free from stressing around.

74
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,480
You know what, honey?
I relax so much with baking.

75
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,880
That's kind of what we do in my family.
It's so cozy.

76
00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:44,080
Yes, we do.

77
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:46,040
Yes, I have made a shopping list for you.

78
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,220
- You have to go to Brugsen for me.
- Yes.

79
00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:53,160
Vanilla, coconut oil, carnation, baking soda...

80
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,920
Not vanilla sugar.
You need to buy real vanilla.

81
00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:56,960
Well, baking soda.

82
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,940
Baking soda.
Don't you know what baking soda is?

83
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,620
Well, I just need to be absolutely
sure of what is written on the packaging.

84
00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:05,480
- Okay, I'll do it myself.
- Shouldn't I help you?

85
00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:09,780
I just have to be even more
stressed when I get home to relax baking.

86
00:04:09,820 --> 00:04:12,220
- That's perfectly fine.
- But shouldn't I help you?

87
00:04:12,260 --> 00:04:13,820
No, because I can't use you for anything.

88
00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:15,500
But I would like to help you.

89
00:04:15,519 --> 00:04:17,720
Yes, but you're not useful.

90
00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:31,180
Ugh.

91
00:04:34,180 --> 00:04:35,600
Wooh.
There.

92
00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:38,240
Then I think we totally made it
without getting stressed, honey.

93
00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:40,020
That was something.

94
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:42,400
Yes, you worked yourself to the bone
and enjoyed yourself, dear.

95
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,340
It went really well.

96
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,860
There they are.
Exactly on the dot.

97
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:50,860
No.

98
00:04:50,860 --> 00:04:52,800
No, how it smells of Christmas.

99
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,620
- See, here you go, darling.
- No.

100
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,280
Yeah, it was just something I put
together before we left home.

101
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,380
That's what you call Christmas, isn't it?

102
00:05:01,820 --> 00:05:03,860
Will you give me that bag, for heaven's sake.

103
00:05:04,460 --> 00:05:05,720
- Yes, good day.
- Good day.

104
00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:08,080
Well, you've baked
a little, I see.

105
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,580
Yes, a little.
There's a little of everything.

106
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:10,840
Come and sit down. Sit down.

107
00:05:12,940 --> 00:05:14,340
Well...

108
00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:16,400
Well, I can't...
Where are the Jewish cookies?

109
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:18,740
Oh, um.

110
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,480
I can bake some right away, mom.

111
00:05:21,820 --> 00:05:23,560
No, you must not do that for my sake.

112
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,160
I can eat Jewish cookies at home.

113
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,500
Mother has baked for weeks.

114
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:29,980
We smooch away.

115
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:33,300
I think I can squeeze a tiny one down.

116
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,020
Well, I have to taste these too.

117
00:05:40,350 --> 00:05:43,570
There's not carda... I thought you used
Grandmom's recipe.

118
00:05:43,630 --> 00:05:44,530
You don't do that.

119
00:05:44,650 --> 00:05:47,930
Yeah, um.
Wait, you got a new ring, mom.

120
00:05:48,030 --> 00:05:49,170
- I just saw it before.
- Yes.

121
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:52,110
Yes, I got it from your
father as an Advent present.

122
00:05:53,190 --> 00:05:55,910
- Christmas is the feast of the heart.
- Yes, right?

123
00:05:56,190 --> 00:06:00,690
- What did you get?
- I got a Mont Blanc pen from your mom.

124
00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:03,690
18 carats.

125
00:06:04,410 --> 00:06:06,390
After all, Advent is
only four times a year.

126
00:06:09,110 --> 00:06:11,930
- Aw.
- Well, but what did you get from Niels?

127
00:06:14,050 --> 00:06:15,330
Um, no, it doesn't matter.

128
00:06:15,690 --> 00:06:17,050
It was just a small thing.

129
00:06:17,350 --> 00:06:19,030
It's still in the sock over there.

130
00:06:19,070 --> 00:06:20,330
We didn't get to look, honey.

131
00:06:20,430 --> 00:06:21,910
- We can just look at what's in it?
- No, um.

132
00:06:22,150 --> 00:06:25,250
- Let's see.
- No, don't turn up the expectations too much.

133
00:06:25,330 --> 00:06:28,850
It got late and then, uh, yeah.

134
00:06:29,370 --> 00:06:30,910
- I picked it up at the gas station.
- What?

135
00:06:31,050 --> 00:06:34,330
You're joking, Niels.
No, let's look.

136
00:06:34,410 --> 00:06:37,190
- Let's just see what there is.
- No, no, no.

137
00:06:37,670 --> 00:06:39,170
Helle, take it later.

138
00:06:39,770 --> 00:06:41,970
- No.
- No, it's today that we have to look.

139
00:06:50,550 --> 00:06:51,990
Um, yes.

140
00:06:52,310 --> 00:06:54,330
Then you can see her in the traffic.

141
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:57,710
Yes, it's the thought that matters.

142
00:06:57,930 --> 00:06:59,490
Yes, it is very thoughtful.

143
00:07:02,390 --> 00:07:04,170
I should also taste that.

144
00:07:05,010 --> 00:07:07,390
Oh, damn it.

145
00:07:11,910 --> 00:07:13,790
Mom.

146
00:07:13,910 --> 00:07:16,190
Uh, I guess I could have
asked for the plate first,

147
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,390
- but I'd rather not be an inconvenience.

148
00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:22,450
- Have you gotten a wig?
- What do you mean by that?

149
00:07:28,950 --> 00:07:30,830
No, no, what's that?

150
00:07:31,550 --> 00:07:32,830
No, mother!

151
00:07:35,010 --> 00:07:37,530
Mother!

152
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:39,890
Mother!

153
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:45,820
We don't use that word at all.

154
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:47,700
That is *wig.'

155
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:50,560
What do you say then?

156
00:07:51,580 --> 00:07:53,940
- Conditioner.
- Conditioner?

157
00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:57,140
Yes, we usually just say
she got a new hair-conditioner.

158
00:07:58,020 --> 00:08:01,460
Yes, it's worse for the women,
with all the Christmas hysteria.

159
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:07,360
It all has to work, and she
runs it all up on a level where...

160
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:10,660
What's that father-in-law?

161
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,000
Nerve pills.

162
00:08:12,580 --> 00:08:14,080
Is it strong now?

163
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:17,440
Very strong.
Do you want one?

164
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,540
Yes, thanks as offerer.

165
00:08:20,780 --> 00:08:21,940
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

166
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:31,220
And then she gives
me a pen for 2,500 as an Advent gift,

167
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,000
and she
expects me to follow suit.

168
00:08:33,799 --> 00:08:34,600
It's insane.

169
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:36,659
It's insane.

170
00:08:37,039 --> 00:08:39,380
I hate Christmas.

171
00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:46,340
Now, I'm sitting here talking about
our trip to the fair in Cologne.

172
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,680
Yes, you should have seen that.

173
00:08:49,020 --> 00:08:53,240
60,000 square meters with
half-sized little garden gnomes.

174
00:08:57,290 --> 00:08:59,890
I'm so glad they're not here for Christmas.

175
00:09:00,550 --> 00:09:01,470
Why do you say that?

176
00:09:01,870 --> 00:09:04,790
You have completely forgotten to
look in your own Christmas stocking.

177
00:09:05,130 --> 00:09:06,010
Well, thanks darling.

178
00:09:06,690 --> 00:09:08,470
What is it?

179
00:09:10,390 --> 00:09:12,330
You're lying.
Mont Blanc.

180
00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:15,490
Thank you very much.

181
00:09:17,020 --> 00:09:19,520
<i>?? help, now it's Christmas ??

182
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,680
<i>?? angel song and ritalin pills??<i>

183
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,680
<i>?? we, the two of us fall apart??

184
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:31,720
<i>?? in tact with the war of the Christmas food. ??<i>

185
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,680
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