1 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:06,860 ♪♪ help, now it's Christmas!♪♪ 2 00:00:07,039 --> 00:00:09,660 If there was anything I would like to cancel, it was Christmas. 3 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:10,900 - No driving it up there. - No, no, no. 5 00:00:11,140 --> 00:00:13,280 - Christmas is irrational. - Wow. 6 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:15,480 ♪♪ help, now it's Christmas! ♪♪ 7 00:00:15,740 --> 00:00:17,940 We're the one who doesn't really dance right. 7 00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:20,020 Then you become unfriends, then you drink a little too much, 8 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:20,960 and then it all goes to hell. 9 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,560 I thought you used Grandma's recipe? 10 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:23,940 ♪♪ help, now it's Christmas!♪♪ 11 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,980 Every deviation is the same as death. 12 00:00:28,340 --> 00:00:29,320 Have I gone insane? 13 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,460 I've gone fucking insane, Helle. 14 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,460 "HELP... IT IS CHRISTMAS." 15 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,000 For a woman who wants a perfect Christmas, 16 00:00:37,060 --> 00:00:39,380 then it takes at least 24 days to pull it off. 17 00:00:39,460 --> 00:00:41,660 With the women's performance race-gene here. 18 00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:44,960 The funny thing is that we were born, in my generation at least, 19 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,680 with free choice on all shelves. 20 00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:50,940 My wife is turning into a 200 kilo busty woman... 21 00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:54,820 After all, we should be liberated and have an equal position and fight for a better world. 22 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:55,960 Strict... 23 00:00:56,220 --> 00:00:57,360 The bra's were burned. 24 00:00:57,620 --> 00:00:58,420 Ayatollah... 25 00:00:58,420 --> 00:00:59,540 The birth control pill came in. 26 00:01:01,220 --> 00:01:03,739 We could completely choose what it is we wanted. 27 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:04,720 Woman... 28 00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:08,500 The funny thing is that we choose to do exactly the same as our parents. 29 00:01:08,660 --> 00:01:09,840 ... who commands! 30 00:01:10,020 --> 00:01:12,420 There is something about what needs to be ordered in the right place, 31 00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,360 and for that to get home, and where the decoration can be ordered home. 32 00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:17,380 This Swiss, absolutely fantastic, little hand-enbroided place, 33 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:20,260 where two crazy designer ladies sit and sew 24 hours a day. 34 00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:22,060 Such a home that is in total disrepair, 35 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,220 it actually looks like a schizophrenic, whom decorating his home. 36 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,640 The first of December, the first crawling pixie sneaks in. 37 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:31,280 The demonic, evil, bodysnatcher crawling pixies... 38 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:33,900 When you get to around the 21st, it's just... 39 00:01:33,900 --> 00:01:35,340 filled with cotton plaided landscapes. 40 00:01:35,540 --> 00:01:39,140 Full frontal Christmas orgy, with garlands everywhere. 41 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,080 It's insane. 42 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:43,460 Men feel like guerilla warriors in a jungle when 43 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,020 we are tip-toeing around in such a Christmas home. 44 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:46,900 We are constantly afraid that there will be 45 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,980 an ambush with some crawling pixie dropping down. 46 00:01:49,060 --> 00:01:51,600 Or a garland that grabs the neck of someone, and suddenly hangs there 47 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:52,940 and fights for his life. 47 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:55,940 "2nd- THE PINECONE PIXIES." 48 00:01:59,550 --> 00:02:01,270 Here we have Niels and Helle. 49 00:02:01,590 --> 00:02:04,010 Married to each other for the past 14 years. 50 00:02:04,070 --> 00:02:06,970 with a standard portfolio of two children, Musse and Malte, 51 00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:10,490 and one piece of a bit too expensive terraced potato house on EasterBridge. 52 00:02:11,190 --> 00:02:12,990 Both in their mid-40s, mid-life, 53 00:02:13,590 --> 00:02:16,330 and right in the middle of life's ongoing hamster Christmas. 54 00:02:16,810 --> 00:02:19,430 Then we have to ask if one of the fathers wants to play donkey. 55 00:02:19,690 --> 00:02:20,770 And now we are talking about Christmas. 56 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:21,690 Niels would like that. 57 00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:25,290 Yesterday, Helle pressured Niels into being a donkey in the annual nativity play. 58 00:02:25,290 --> 00:02:28,030 He's a little stubborn. He's already in character. 58 00:02:28,290 --> 00:02:30,030 Helle, I don't want to. 59 00:02:30,090 --> 00:02:31,050 For hell's sake! 60 00:02:31,730 --> 00:02:33,130 - Hey, hey! - For Satan's sake! 61 00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:36,850 - This is a complete mockery. - ... like to ask you to vacate the house of God. 62 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,490 After which Niels pressured Helle into making a promise 63 00:02:40,590 --> 00:02:42,770 to completely turn down the Christmas ambitions this year. 64 00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:44,370 - Do you promise? - I promise. 66 00:02:44,970 --> 00:02:47,550 It should rather not go as wrong as last year. 67 00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:49,810 ♪♪ and Christmas lasts until Easter, honey ♪♪ 35 00:02:51,090 --> 00:02:54,450 ♪♪ sometimes I feel like I got to ♪♪ 36 00:02:54,890 --> 00:2:56,450 ♪♪ run away, I've got to ♪♪ 37 00:02:57,890 --> 00:02:59,450 ♪♪ get away from the place♪♪ 68 00:03:12,140 --> 00:03:16,060 What? Missing something? 70 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,700 - Pinecone pixies. - Pinecone pixies? 72 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,500 Yes, so... 73 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:24,000 It's because Malte has to do an assignment in school about Christmas traditions in his family. 74 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:25,680 Okay, honey. 75 00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:28,500 If you had to come up with a Christmas tradition from our family, what would it be? 77 00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,280 - Panic. - Panic? 79 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:32,940 No. Pinecone pixies, baby. 81 00:03:33,340 --> 00:03:34,460 Which pinecone pixies? 82 00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:38,240 Yes, don't you remember the pinecone pixies, the ones we got from granddad's summer house? 83 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:41,180 Those funny, funny pinecone pixie, with each 84 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,380 their own personality and history and stuff. 85 00:03:43,460 --> 00:03:46,160 And then I thought, he could put that on a collage, Malte. 86 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,220 What do you think Malte says to that? 87 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:51,280 I thought it would be really fun to make a blue book 88 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,680 collage where he takes each pinecone pixies and put it on. 89 00:03:53,740 --> 00:03:56,640 Then there are thick cones, then there is the cheeky pinecone pixie, 90 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:00,120 then there is the bee cone. So all those are differently sweet... 92 00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:02,580 God. No, what the hell is that? 94 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:06,020 No. That's my motorcycle suit, man. 96 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,820 - What is it doing here? - Fuck, fuck, fuck. 98 00:04:08,340 --> 00:04:11,120 Then I put the pinecone pixies in the garbage. Damn. 100 00:04:12,580 --> 00:04:14,880 Listen, you have no intention of throwing out my motorcycle suit, right? 103 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,079 Shut it. God, there are some kids out there. 104 00:04:17,860 --> 00:04:18,980 The pinecone pixies, hello? Hey! 106 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,500 Are you aware of how much such a motorcycle suit costs, Helle? 107 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,800 Hush. Soon it will be gone. Oh, damn it. 109 00:04:24,020 --> 00:04:25,900 Now they are making off with our pinecone pixies, Niels. 110 00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:28,220 Damn it. 111 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,600 It's gone. 111 00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:36,600 "Pinecone pixies." Listen, Hey! 113 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,280 Stop! 114 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:44,160 It is my box that your children accidentally took. 115 00:04:44,620 --> 00:04:46,760 You just sneak in. 116 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,000 Yes, as I said, it is my box that your children have taken. 117 00:04:49,020 --> 00:04:50,500 We actually would like it back. 118 00:04:50,740 --> 00:04:53,180 Well, then why have you put it to thrash? 119 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,120 Yes, that is simply just a mistake. 120 00:04:55,180 --> 00:04:58,580 I don't know what happened. So we simply have to get it back again. 122 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,740 It was just some old pinecone pixies, phew. 123 00:05:01,740 --> 00:05:04,580 Yes, these are some old pinecone pixies that I would really like to have again. 124 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,940 - Can I? - No, I think that is very problematic. 126 00:05:07,300 --> 00:05:09,480 Sorry, how can that be problematic? 127 00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:12,280 Well, I think it is very, very problematic if my children have to learn that 128 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,420 you can first give something away, and then take it back again. 129 00:05:14,740 --> 00:05:15,820 Well yes! Yes. 131 00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:18,920 Okay, but now I didn't give your children, my pixies either. 132 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,560 It was a mistake. 133 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,020 Yes, but they were out on the street. 134 00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:24,580 My kids asked me if they could take them. I said yes. 136 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,280 I promised them nothing would happen about it. 137 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:29,980 Maybe you want me to break a promise to my own children? 139 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,700 So, excuse me, that's a very sanctimonious attitude. 140 00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:35,860 - Then you'd rather teach them to steal? - No, no, no. 142 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:39,780 We also don't steal your furniture when they stood drying after the water damage out on the road. 144 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:43,520 Oh, oh, oh. There is a very big difference between leaving some things to dry 146 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,300 after a cloudburst, than putting some old crap out to be thrown away. 147 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,120 I didn't recall calling your furniture old crap... 148 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,560 Although they might look like that when they were crunched up. 149 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,140 It is completely ridiculous nonsense, that makes you not at all 150 00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:57,620 able to get through this street. I just wanted to tell you that, 152 00:05:58,060 --> 00:05:59,420 - because I think it's a bit problematic. - Now I have to say one thing. 154 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,040 Envy is a very, very bad trait. 155 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:04,160 And just a little tip. Just a woman to woman; drop the hat. 157 00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:06,540 - Hi, see you. - Hello. 159 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:09,520 Niels. 160 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,860 So imagine she is standing in front of me, making a scene like that. 161 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,080 I intend to use this one a lot when I get a motorbike again. 162 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,560 Niels, those pinecone pixies are the essence of our Christmas. 163 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:23,120 She stole our Christmas right now. 164 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:25,520 We have a thousand pixies in there. 165 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,060 Yes, but it's not pinecone pixies. 166 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:28,920 What do you intend to do? What? 168 00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:31,520 Break into her place or what? 169 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,300 You can forget about that. 170 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:51,980 Like that. 171 00:06:52,220 --> 00:06:54,220 Well, I guess it's there. 172 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,320 We are all here. 173 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:57,980 I don't think anyone is missing. 174 00:06:58,260 --> 00:07:00,820 Like that. 175 00:07:01,940 --> 00:07:05,180 So, dear, now I think I'm done with Malte's Christmas decoration. 176 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,020 I think it turned out good. 177 00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:10,760 - Then you found those pinecone pixies anyway. - Yes, I did. 179 00:07:11,020 --> 00:07:13,140 Um, I had a box standing somewhere filed with... 180 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,580 Who the hell is that? 181 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:18,540 Howdy. 182 00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:21,240 - Hey. - Hey Nemo. 184 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:22,890 Hello, hello. 186 00:07:23,030 --> 00:07:24,030 Hi, hi. What can we do for you? 187 00:07:24,350 --> 00:07:26,170 Well, I just wanted to say that I just had a burglary. 188 00:07:26,450 --> 00:07:27,570 No, now you stop. 189 00:07:27,670 --> 00:07:29,390 What's going on in the neighborhood? 190 00:07:29,690 --> 00:07:32,310 And then I think that I had better warn you, 191 00:07:32,310 --> 00:07:33,450 because it's appearantly pinecone pixies they're after. 192 00:07:33,670 --> 00:07:34,310 You don't say? 193 00:07:34,390 --> 00:07:35,970 Yes. I do. 195 00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:37,670 Are they going after them now? 196 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:39,910 Yes, and apparently there was only one according to the police. 197 00:07:40,110 --> 00:07:42,430 The police? 198 00:07:42,610 --> 00:07:43,870 Have the police become mixed up in this? 199 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,530 Yes, it is clear, because of the insurance. 200 00:07:47,030 --> 00:07:49,170 Now it was just pixies. Wasn't it just pixies? 202 00:07:49,490 --> 00:07:50,350 And a flat screen. 203 00:07:51,030 --> 00:07:53,810 And a recliner's chair. And the mouse painting. 205 00:07:54,610 --> 00:07:57,590 When you finally get through to the insurance quickly, 206 00:07:57,690 --> 00:07:59,290 then you're a doofus if you don't write up a little more. 207 00:08:00,030 --> 00:08:01,810 Don't stand there laughing! 208 00:08:01,890 --> 00:08:03,930 Right there, there are some ethics and morals. 209 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,990 - There is a limit that cannot be crossed. - Is there really? 211 00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:08,930 Are we now going to call you Holy Helle, or what? 212 00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:11,590 God, by the way. 213 00:08:12,030 --> 00:08:15,130 There were some witnesses who saw him run into your garden. 214 00:08:15,730 --> 00:08:16,390 How creepy it is. 215 00:08:16,470 --> 00:08:19,530 He was wearing a motorcycle suit like with something skeletal on the back. 216 00:08:19,590 --> 00:08:22,730 - What? - Yes, it was such a big fellow, you know? 218 00:08:23,190 --> 00:08:27,390 You know, a solid bread, wide around the back, wide around the ass. 219 00:08:27,530 --> 00:08:28,610 Such a common craftsman's type. 220 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:29,990 Huge, big. 221 00:08:30,090 --> 00:08:32,809 It could also be that the suit was insanely unflattering, right? 222 00:08:33,169 --> 00:08:35,630 Yes, listen... It wasn't a skull on the back, right? 224 00:08:35,710 --> 00:08:37,890 Yes. A large skull. 226 00:08:38,510 --> 00:08:41,190 So if you see a suit like that, you must finally speak up, 227 00:08:41,190 --> 00:08:42,710 and don't worry, I've told everyone on the road. 228 00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:45,870 - Take care, so long. - Bye, bye. 231 00:08:49,470 --> 00:08:51,490 So... 232 00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:52,930 I hope it wasn't my suit she meant. 233 00:08:53,570 --> 00:08:56,410 Niels, stop being so petty. 234 00:08:56,990 --> 00:08:58,210 - You don't have to... - What the hell do you mean? 236 00:08:58,390 --> 00:08:59,790 I can't use that suit anymore, then. 237 00:08:59,850 --> 00:09:03,230 No, but maybe you shouldn't ride the motorcycle any more, huh? 238 00:09:03,590 --> 00:09:05,950 Try to see, honey. It's the pinecone pixie, Torvald. 240 00:09:06,090 --> 00:09:07,310 The uncle of the other pixies. 241 00:09:07,730 --> 00:09:09,770 The one who can talk like a bottle. Do you remember him? 180 00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:14,520 ♪♪ help, now it's Christmas ♪♪ 181 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:18,680 ♪♪ angel song and ritalin pills♪♪ 182 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:23,680 ♪♪ we, the two of us fall apart♪♪ 183 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,720 ♪♪ in tact with the war of the Christmas food.♪♪ 184 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:31,680 --- Subtitles by Essery. ---